i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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