guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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