what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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