He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
