They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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