just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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