Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isnβt very good.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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