I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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