I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
