Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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