Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
