Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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