Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so let's talk penis.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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