Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
