if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
