Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
