Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
