Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
