I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
