please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
