Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My bed smells like the plague
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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