In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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