Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
