I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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