Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
