My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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