In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
