Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
