why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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