According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
