he thought i was a dude.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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