Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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