I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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