i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
