I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
