Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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