Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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