im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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