do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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