I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
