Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
