He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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