the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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