The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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