i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
