Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
