would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
