Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
