is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
