spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
