And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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