i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The best revenge is premature balding
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
As shirtless as possible
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
